God and The Devil

A few weeks ago I wrote a story about meeting a Buddhist Monk on the Highline.  He was exactly what I needed that day.  I had prayed to God to bring me something to make me feel love that day.  When I met this young man he said, “I love you because you are beautiful.”  I believe God can speak to us through many vehicles.  That day I do believe I got what I needed and I give my higher power the credit.  When I was discussing this with a friend, a New Yorker, she said, “Oh no, Cookie, that is a scam.  I read about it recently.  They give you blessings and take your money.”  I explained to her that I did not give him any money, but I did give him my phone number because we had to use the translator on our phones to communicate. There was only so much, “I love you because you are beautiful” I could take.  I was trying to discuss God’s love with him and how I thought he was displaying it.  Our conversations were benign and I felt no fear.  Anyone can find my number online, but I do not disclose where I live to strangers or Buddhist monks.  Another friend of ours said not to worry he did not get money from me and it was harmless.  As the days passed I received the same messages from him.  I responded with well wishes.  He then sent me a picture of himself in civilian clothes which I didn’t think was appropriate if he is a monk, but who am I to judge.  I would see calls from him and I would not answer because I don’t speak his language.  Recently, I received a text from him that said, “Where are you?  I want to kiss you.”  I decided this was the devil talking and so I blocked him.  I got a blessing and got to keep my money.  I think I scammed him.

“I Know You’re in There, You’re Just Out of Sight”

I did it today.  I found my private zone in the city.  I walked The High Line on this beautiful Sunday.  I watched people.  I watched the boats slide across the water, and I was alone.  I was also lonely, but I needed to feel this emotion.  I needed to be with myself in a state of authentic feelings.  I found an empty wooden chaise, sat back and found my place.  A girl was sitting next to me with her earphones, and she was in her world, and I knew that I could be in mine.  At first, I watched the people as they walked past me and then, I let them go.  I let them be in the background.  I selected a song I have been listening to for the last couple of days, “Time Passages” by Al Stewart.  I had my earphones in, my sunglasses on and I cried quietly, but I cried.  I do not like for anyone to see me cry, but I could do it here because I had created my private space and no one noticed.  At one point the girl got up and a lady a few years older than I am sat down.  I think she witnessed my chest heaving up and down, but she let me have my space.  That’s why I love this city.  I know if I had needed help, anyone would have helped me, but I needed this.  My space.  When the woman got up she looked my way and warmly smiled at me.  I didn’t smile back, but I am sure she could see that I was grateful that she had allowed me to be alone.  I was crying for those time passages.  “The years run too short and the days too fast. The things you lean on are the things that don’t last.”  As I was lying back crying, I prayed and I meditated. Earlier in the day, a Buddhist monk approached me; he gave me a bracelet and said to me, “I love you” and “Namaste.”  He prayed for peace for me.  He may be part of a scam I’ve heard is going on, but I don’t care.   I did not give him money.  I feel like God spoke through him and it was what I needed today.  Afterward, I went to a 12 Step meeting, and it was on Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.”  This was a reminder that I must do this step daily.  Let go and let God. Today, I was alone, and felt my God’s presence, and it’s the one thing I can lean on that will last during these time passages.

I never post selfies with my entire face.  Why?  Because I don’t like it.  I always do a partial selfie or a picture of my outfit without showing my face.  Today I enjoyed the sun shining on me and I felt peace in the sea of people as they walked past me on The High Line.  When I snapped this photo and looked at it later I liked the calm I saw.  This was one of my favorite days in the city so far.


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