A few weeks ago I wrote a story about meeting a Buddhist Monk on the Highline. He was exactly what I needed that day. I had prayed to God to bring me something to make me feel love that day. When I met this young man he said, “I love you because you are beautiful.” I believe God can speak to us through many vehicles. That day I do believe I got what I needed and I give my higher power the credit. When I was discussing this with a friend, a New Yorker, she said, “Oh no, Cookie, that is a scam. I read about it recently. They give you blessings and take your money.” I explained to her that I did not give him any money, but I did give him my phone number because we had to use the translator on our phones to communicate. There was only so much, “I love you because you are beautiful” I could take. I was trying to discuss God’s love with him and how I thought he was displaying it. Our conversations were benign and I felt no fear. Anyone can find my number online, but I do not disclose where I live to strangers or Buddhist monks. Another friend of ours said not to worry he did not get money from me and it was harmless. As the days passed I received the same messages from him. I responded with well wishes. He then sent me a picture of himself in civilian clothes which I didn’t think was appropriate if he is a monk, but who am I to judge. I would see calls from him and I would not answer because I don’t speak his language. Recently, I received a text from him that said, “Where are you? I want to kiss you.” I decided this was the devil talking and so I blocked him. I got a blessing and got to keep my money. I think I scammed him.
From atop The High Line
Performing at The High Line
I did it today. I found my private zone in the city. I walked The High Line on this beautiful Sunday. I watched people. I watched the boats slide across the water, and I was alone. I was also lonely, but I needed to feel this emotion. I needed to be with myself in a state of authentic feelings. I found an empty wooden chaise, sat back and found my place. A girl was sitting next to me with her earphones, and she was in her world, and I knew that I could be in mine. At first, I watched the people as they walked past me and then, I let them go. I let them be in the background. I selected a song I have been listening to for the last couple of days, “Time Passages” by Al Stewart. I had my earphones in, my sunglasses on and I cried quietly, but I cried. I do not like for anyone to see me cry, but I could do it here because I had created my private space and no one noticed. At one point the girl got up and a lady a few years older than I am sat down. I think she witnessed my chest heaving up and down, but she let me have my space. That’s why I love this city. I know if I had needed help, anyone would have helped me, but I needed this. My space. When the woman got up she looked my way and warmly smiled at me. I didn’t smile back, but I am sure she could see that I was grateful that she had allowed me to be alone. I was crying for those time passages. “The years run too short and the days too fast. The things you lean on are the things that don’t last.” As I was lying back crying, I prayed and I meditated. Earlier in the day, a Buddhist monk approached me; he gave me a bracelet and said to me, “I love you” and “Namaste.” He prayed for peace for me. He may be part of a scam I’ve heard is going on, but I don’t care. I did not give him money. I feel like God spoke through him and it was what I needed today. Afterward, I went to a 12 Step meeting, and it was on Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” This was a reminder that I must do this step daily. Let go and let God. Today, I was alone, and felt my God’s presence, and it’s the one thing I can lean on that will last during these time passages.
I never post selfies with my entire face. Why? Because I don’t like it. I always do a partial selfie or a picture of my outfit without showing my face. Today I enjoyed the sun shining on me and I felt peace in the sea of people as they walked past me on The High Line. When I snapped this photo and looked at it later I liked the calm I saw. This was one of my favorite days in the city so far.