Loving My Spouse is a Challenge

Love Your Spouse Facebook Challenge.  “Challenge. “ That’s the word I see.  Maybe it’s just me, but it is challenging to love my spouse at times.  I think he feels the same way because he has told me over the years when we were arguing, “Right now, I am JUST committed to you.” 

Commitment. The feelings come and go, but commitment is the cement.  I suppose a good friendship and respect are important too. There were times we just decided to stay together because we were better together than apart.  Is that love?  Were we chicken shits?  Perhaps. This week I’ve looked at many photos of my husband and me through the years, from the time we started dating, during our marriage, our separation and today.  I can see the difference in our smiles and how our eyes have gone from sparkling to nebulous. I can see the stress and confusion.  I can almost feel it.  As I held each photo, I searched my memory of what was going on in our lives at the time reflected in the photo.  How did we lose that brilliance in our eyes?

Life.  Life took our radiance and replaced it with a dark and dull quality.  If I had the pictures to show, I would show the pictures of the fights, the hurt, the separation.  The chaos of our union.  When we are arguing we don’t stop and say, “Let’s take a picture of this moment.  This real moment of our life.”  We live it.  Maybe that’s the answer if there are any answers to staying together.  Begin with hopes and dreams.  Go through the bad stuff.  Keep going.  Take some pictures along the way.  “Just be committed” even when you don’t like or love your spouse.  The “challenge” for each couple is not permanently to lose their way during the journey.  I took the challenge.   

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